I have a horrible car {loan} company. We got the car when our credit was not so hot. We are upside down, and will just have to live with this mistake for a while.

Anyway- for the first 2 years, we were almost always 30 days behind (we always made the payment before it was due again - so our credit report is clear of ticks). In our loan agreement (never saw this) - they say the loan I have allows them to charge interest for every day it is late. All of that $$ is added to the very last payment. They mentioned to me a few months back that my final payment is over 2K and growing. I hate it. This company does not provide online statements or acct information. I get a paper bill from them each month, if I am lucky.

I've been able to catch up a few times, most recently two weeks ago (we were okay from Jan-May, but then was late for June's payment). I did Online Bill pay and took care of the payment. BofA said they mailed it on June 17th. Bad Loan Company said they posted it on the 24th. Not too bad. Except, the 24th is the same day it cleared my account. I do not think Check 21 was involved, and the actual check was what clear my account (not an ACH). Well, on the 17th, I initiated another Bill Pay for the July payment (over 12 days early). It still hasn't cleared. They (Bad Loan Company) says they haven't recvd it. Meanwhile, because it's now after the 2nd, they are charging me interest every day, and will charge me a late fee on the 10th.

{keep reading, I am getting to the point!}

They said they use a 3rd party to process payments. And they can't help if it takes a while. But what abt the interest I am being charged? They say they don't have a # they can call to see if my payment was received. I even spoke with a supervisor.

I think they are purposely holding my payments to charge late fees and interest.

Of course, the supervisor said "No!, why would we do that?"

I answered, "To charge me more money!"

I have an inquiry into BofA - but this just makes me so mad (I've never had this happen before). I feel like my hands are tied. This is a stupid company.

I have my Honda thru Honda Finance, (and all of my previous vehicles thru Ford) - I need to be able to see things, I need Online Account access.

I know if BofA caused an error - they will take care of my fees. But, what about this 3rd party? I am going to have no choice but to Western Union my payments each month. Grrr.

As I wrote the title to this post, the old garbage bag commercial was going through my head. {Wimpy, Wimpy, Wimpy!} However, this post is not about garbage. Rather, it's about Savings.

I will disclose that June was our first month of really saving money. I opened 6 Orange Savings Accounts, 4 IRAs (half for DH and half for me), and 1 HSBC Savings Account.

Now, some people could probably have all of their emergency, rainy day, and their down payment funds all in one account - and keep it fairly organized. I cannot. That's why I have a gazillion accounts now. Taking into account how easy the accounts are to open, and transfer funds to (via ACH), I am as pleased as a pig in a mud puddle.

If you take a gander to the left, you will see that I updated our savings balances. "A combined total for the kids savings - $12.00?!?!" I know. Wimpy! BUT!! it's a start. And that's $4.00 more than they each had in May. Right? So - it looks small, but I know that over time, it will grow!

Also - I earned $0.16 in interest in June! Wahoo!! {hehe}

Now that I have my savings on Auto-Pilot...I need to KILL my debt. I have seen some of the cards go down - but I want them GONE. DH's first paycheck of the month pays all of the credit cards, cell phone bill, and a few other things. On that payday alone, I have 14 bills to pay. I am tired - and I want to reduce the number of bills I have to think about each month. Thankfully, DH has 5 paychecks in August and October. Those 5th paychecks are going to credit card debt. That should take out a huge chunk*!

*Note: While we do have 14 cards between us, the highest balance (and credit limits)on our major credit cards is $500. We do have Dell and Kay Jewelers, both with 1800.00. So only about 7K in credit card debt.

Anyway, I am off to see if I can perfect Biscuits and Gravy this morning. Wish me luck!

not such a bad thing...



just as long as they are deposting and not debiting!

No idea where this came from - but hey, I am putting that into my Savings account!!

So - I finally opened a Savings Account for each of the kids. I am very excited about that. And since I was so excited - I went ahead and opened a Hawaii Trip (2014) Savings Account (for our 20th wedding anniv) and a Disneyland Trip (2010) Savings Account.

I will admit - when I just typed 2010 - I had to laugh. Seems like sooo far in the future. Perhaps we will all wear shiny, silver clothes... and ride in small, modular space ships. Who knows!?!

but let me tell you... I am MUCH happier with June than I was with May. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't perfect - but we are on our way. I cannot wait to update my totals!

I checked on my Rebate Check - and it will be deposited on Friday, the 13th!!
I am so very excited. $2100.00
Some to the IRAs, some to Debt, some to our Vacation (scheduled July 21) and also some for Family Pics @ Sears (my family of 5, and then the 7 cousins).

To help save $45 - I am going to cut (shave? buzz?) my husband's, DS1 and DS2's hair this week!
Oh my - kinda scared, but how hard can it be? I have the color-coded clippers, and I will start out longer, and just keep going over it.
I will prolly start DS1 first, if I mess up, we can use a 3 all over... He wears a hat most of the time anyway. And it IS summer! lol... Hair is too hot to have!

Wow - the things I'll do to save money!

No joke. I know everyone is feeling the pain at the pump... but come on...!

When I left for work yesterday, the gas stations in my area were $4.03/ a gallon. When I drove back home, they were $4.15. In less than 12 hours, the price was up for plain jane gas - by 12 cents.

Grrrr.

In other news, I am revved and ready to shop Wal-Mart tonight for groceries... I am going to try out their "Price Matching". I have $140 for Costco, and $140 for groceries (for the next two weeks) - but I only want to spend $70 of it now, and $70 next Friday. I know I can do it!! I like a good challenge! It was really slow at work yesterday, so I spent time creating (and laminating!!) weekly meal plans!

And - I also made a contribution to both Traditional and Roth (you know! My IRAs!) yesterday.

I spent $40 @ Target yesterday for my nephew's birthday present - he is 5! We are heading out to his party in a few hours. After the party, we are doing our Costco shopping, and filling up our gas tanks! /sigh

Anyway, I think it will be a great weekend!

Okay... first.
I have to admit that not long ago - when I heard the saying "Pay Yourself First", I sincerely thought they were talking about entertainment, dinners out, and groceries. I did not know they meant "savings" and retirement". DUH!

Second, something annoys me. I have an employee who just (just!) went through bankruptcy, who worked in the mortgage business for abt 5 years, making a TON! of money. So, anway, now they are house poor, and daycare poor - and bankrupt. And yet, everyday, she shows up to work with a St*rbucks Latte Mocho-Loco Ice'd Capi'tan (or whatever it is). And while she's sipping away on that green straw, she complains about how poor she is.


Third, I OPENED AN IRA ACCOUNT TONIGHT!!!! OH MY! I am so excited. I work for a Bank who is big on IRAs, MMDAs and CDs... and we only do IRA CDs and minimum to open is 2500... so really, I didn't realize how easy it would be to open at another institution and that I could add to it as much or as little (within IRS guidelines) as I wanted. So, I am starting off slow... but I am excited none-the-less!!
Next, 3 Savings accounts - one for each kid. I WILL NOT allow them to make the same mistakes we did!

Well, off to get the kids to bed. Just wanted to share.

I have been telling myself for a while now - that I don't do Lattes. And that there is no Latte Factor in my life.
Can you believe that?
So - then why did I spend $12 at the gas station this morning on two waters, an iced tea, a Banana Nut Muffin, and $5 in cash back?
Duh! That's my Latte.



Also - I got a package in the mail yesterday - from ShareBuilder (never heard of them - but I guess it has to do with investments).
In the package was a $30 coupon for my first investment buy (I don't think that's the correct lingo, but oh well)... in addition - there was a book!
The Automatic Millionaire - by David Bach!!! A free copy!! I just got done reading Start Late - Finish Rich, and loved it.
I have no idea why I was sent this "gift" - but I am really REALLY having a good time dealing with personal finances.
Perhaps it's a sign! To keep on trucking... I will get there!
Hey, a gal can dream!

That's how much it cost to fill up my Honda Odyssey. No joke, in less than 48 hours - the price went up 18 cents. I am so very angry about this. And on the news, and in articles, all you hear is "walk more, take the bus more"... perhaps in other parts of the country, that might be possible. But, I live in a city outside of Phoenix... Our transit system sucks, I work 30 miles from home,I have kids to get to summer school and daycare and it's 115* during the summer.
We have been so good about cutting the fat out of our budget... but that was to save money and pay debt. All I have been able to do is keep up with the gas prices.
Oh, and the electric? $97 last month... $237.00 this month (and we are being careful).
My dad said "they" are predicting $7/gallon for gas by the end of the year. It's unreal.
I am at 100% (debt to income)... with no real EF. If one of us loses our job, or something else comes up - we would get behind faster than a blink of an eye. And mind you - while we have made A LOT OF MISTAKES, we have also worked very hard to fix things. We are working twice as hard - than if we would have learned about finances and would have done it right from the start.
I am just not sure what to do...

I (we) have two checking accounts with BofA, and one with Chase. I gave each account a "color" and ordered checks in those particular colors to keep everything straight. On my budget, I note the color the bill was paid from.



So, one BofA is Green, and one is Yellow. Our Chase is Blue.

So... why not open an Orange account? Especially @ 3.00% interest? There was no reason why not, so I did.

I have 200.00 going to our regular Savings account (which currently is colorless) - so I will change that so 1/2 of that will go to Orange. I want to keep some cash in our local Savings, just in case - but I also plan on using our Blue account just for the Escrow, Allowance, Household, and Emergency Fund - so once that is built up - I can switch to add more of that amount to the Orange account.

So - I have a plan, and everything is in place. I just cannot wait to start seeing the difference my plan makes.

What a month. Budget wise - we were okay until last weekend - where we got a little Target happy (baby shower for twin boys) and eating out happy (hangs head in shame). I cannot believe we did it again. Over extended ourselves.
My Verizone Wireless bill came in $100 over budget (those kids and IM - locked down the phones though). We ran out of so many "every other month" things in the middle of the week (when, seriously, who has time - or money - to shop?) like toilet paper, baby wipes, and paper towels.
I know - "Get back on the horse" - and I plan to. I think it was last Saturday, when we went out to a BBQ place for dinner (the 5 of us) and I signed the check for $64.00 (of which 0 was budgeted) and realized that could have been a week's worth of groceries. I have been so mad at myself ever since.

I find myself reading the blogs every day - but not having my luck @ writing. I think I need to write every day - to remind myself to stay on track.

Okay - with April over, I wanted to look @ what we did. Mind you, April was our first month on this particluar budget. I think we did okay... we learned a lot, and cannot wait to make a huge difference in May.

As I mentioned before, we started out negative in April, as we had to catch up on two bills. I am happy to say, we did just that.

Because we had to pay certain things this month, our savings took a hit, and we have no EF or Escrow $$. We will start those this month!

I had something happen to this month, I had to pay for a huge mistake I made 3 years ago. Huge. To the tune of $544.29. I didn't mean to cause drama... I just never took care of it. I will never do that again - ever. It cost me something more than just the $544.29 I had to shell out. Anyway - It's hard when you make a committment to do the right thing, and for three or four months, all is well - and then BAMMMM!! something from your past catches up to you. It un-nerved me, to say the least. Plus I had to come up with the cash, and make 2 car payments to my Malibu. 2 good things happened surrounding that though. 1) I had to go to downtown Phoenix, and had DH and lil DS with me. We then had to go to another city...it was around lunch time. So we stopped at Wendy's - even though we should have saved the money. After trying to order, and get everything right (the machine was doing weird things) - it wouldn't take a credit/debit card payment - so we got a free lunch! Kinda nice! And then, DH's paycheck was $600.00 more than usual due to OT. So, the Big Guy up there was saying, "Teaching you a lesson, but still going to be nice about it - not going to knock you off of your feet, totally".

It's been a crazy few weeks.

I don't like that Target beat me. I hate that we used our debit cards a few times (shame on us). But it's a learning experience. We will get there.

So, without further ado... here'ssss April!

So... curious as to when we will get ours... anyone know?

Last two of primary SSN - 87
Filed/Postmarked April 14
Owed - 700 bad boys.

Any idea if it will come soon?

TIA!

P.S. I have a lot to post abt, just very little time. Hope tonight will work. I want to examine what we did in April.

I fought the urge, but Target won. $31.00. 3 shirts for Lil' DS, 1 shirt for DD, 2 boxes of granola bars, and 1 pack of hair things for DS. Needs? Naw. Darn Target.

I really feel a loss of control right now. Lil' DS is not eating properly, he went to bed at 11pm last night, and we have to wake him up at 6 to go to Daycare.

The kitchen is a MESS. Tomorrow is DD's 9th b-day - I have cupcakes to make.
Couldn't even make myself make dinner, so $15 at Little Caesars.

I know there's a correlation between house and finances... I hate that I failed miserably today. I spent some of our gas money for next week.

I just feel so unorganized. The kids aren't listening, the lil' one is acting silly, and DH is watching the Suns game.

gahahahahahaaahhhhahah!

sorry for the vent...

Okay, this past Friday, was the first paycheck since starting our new budget (it was also the first paycheck of April).

Remember I mentioned we were two payments behind on our car? I have to pay three payments this month. 1 to pay March, 2 to pay April and 3 to pay ahead for May.
I just paid the first of three today!! Wahoo! I have the rest budgeted for this month. It helps that all of the other bills are fine, or paid ahead.

So, today is Sunday - kids go back to school tomorrow. DH is at work (like all Sunday's). So, we had errands to run. It was a hard week of AIMS testing for the kids, so I thought a treat was in order. So, we ran our errands, then went to McDonalds. Each kid got a Happy Meal, and me a meal deal. It cost me $17.59. OMG. How stupid am I? (I normally wouldn't even look @ the total.) Next time, we eat PB&J before we go, then go and get a .59 cent ice cream cone. This was Lil DS's (Nic) first time there since he learned to walk. It was fun! Despite the cost.

One of the errands was to get a B-Day gift for my dad. So we got a gift card and 2 b-day cards - total $30.11.

And finally - I paid the car payment (by Money Gram) - couldn't avoid the fee. Needed to make it pronto. So - 465.95.

Total today: $513.65 (like water, I tell ya).

We went grocery shopping on Friday and Saturday. Our normal budget is:

Food 150 (2x a month)
Costco 180

But because I have to make extra car payments, I had to scale down on the food money. So, I spent:

$19.58 @ Sprouts - veggies and fruit - yummy!

$116.33 @ Costco ($16 over, but I bought some stuff there that I was planning to get @ Fry's).

$123.14 @ Fry's. They were having MAJOR sales (buy 10 and save $5.00) - but I couldn't go over board and stock up like I wanted to. Maybe next month.

All the way through Costco, DH was trying to add things to the cart - which were not on the list. He was mad at me. But I don't care. I am sticking to it this time.

So - total for Food and Stuff: $259.05
Only $9.05 OVER the "fake/temp" budget!! Wahoo! Much better than I thought.

I did realize today that I still need Dog Food and Toilet Paper - so I will be heading to Wal-Mart tonight - I have coupons for both!

I have 200.00 is Savings, 50 in the EF, and 100 in my checking to carry over to next week (for another car payment).

And shhh. Keep this top secret please... I was offered a new job on Tuesday. I accepted - and the pay i$ more! That will help a lot. I will be working for an privately owned, but well known Investment Firm - so I am hoping that, as I continue to work in the finance industry - I will continue to make smart financial decisions! I haven't given my notice yet (waiting on background check) - but I will start May 12).

And finally - I had several dreams last night - that I kept taking pregnancy tests and getting positives!! Oh no! I would love more children, but can't take the risk of another delivery like the last. I guess I got to get that taken care of. Which costs more money... but gotta get it done. So, I will be having the talk with DH tonight!! Wish me luck!

Oh - and our next Pay Day is Tuesday!! Can't wait to pay more bills!!!

This is what my 28 weeker looks like:














(TOLD YOU THEY ROCK!!)



And finally - this past Sunday...



He is the most amazing thing! Praying for your family!!

Oh - and to tie this to finances - He cost me A LOT! lol... =)

How do we move on with our lives?

=D

As I was making DH's lunch yesterday - I realized I could save us a few bucks at the grocery store - if he would just convert to Creamy Peanut Butter.

Doesn't end there, tho.

He's Perserves, I'm Jelly.

I cannot stand whole fruit in my jelly. I think there is a middle ground there - a Strawberry spread (with no whole berries).

We may survive after all.

But - in all honesty, I don't think he will convert to Creamy PB. So I may have to put my big girl panties on and give in to him.

Thankfully, I prolly won't need to make this decision this month. Before SA.com, I had gone to Costco and bought him Crunchy PB and those darn perserves. Two jars of each (they are packaged that way).

In May, things may have to change. Saving money is worth it, right?

So, I just spent the last hour and 26 minutes watching Maxed Out. What a documentary!

I am prolly a marketing firm's best customer. I want what they are selling. I have toned it down a whole lot as of late - but after watching Maxed Out - I am done. (*Note - just cause I wanted it, doesn't mean I got it. =D More than likely, I talked abt it and about wanting it. Word of mouth advertising.)

I cannot believe that people go to great lengths TO KILL THEMSELVES because they are in major debt. The doc showed 3 people... how many more out there have done the same, or have merely thought about it? It's a shame.

I know for the past two years, I having been trying to rebuild our credit. We went from me having 2 credit cards and DH having none - to 5 or 6 each. YIKES!

Obviously, we have made a decision to turn that all around. That's why I am here. But I cannot believe how long we were buying into their scams.

The doc should be shown to EVERY high school senior. Better yet, to every 12-15 y.o. Start it early.

There were some areas that were extreme, all the responsibility can't lie on the government and the card/financial companies... We have to take some too. I signed the application...I hit the submit button... I choose to live above my means.

I choose to say that Debt is Not Sexy... My new friends Mr. Cash and Mrs. Frugal are very sexy. That's the kinda sexy I want to be.

Proof...

Dh's side. lol... Dh is an electronic geek. He loves anything electronic, and anything that goes into electronics.
He's working on the rest today... So many CDs and DVDs.


My side. I wish I took a 'before' shot... it was bad. Piles of paper everywhere.


Note: The glass of Sweet Tea is current. Promise! Got to have my sweet tea! Oh, just saw that the tea bags are 50% cheaper if I buy Wal-Mart brand! Wahoo!

Wouldn't that be nice.
Disclaimer - spelling (errr typing?)never counts!

Grandma to the rescue (even if I don't want her to be).

When we were making a lot less money, and both not so smart abt financial decisions - there were a lot of times my parents had to bail us out. The last several years, we have been financial independent from them!

They used to pay for my kids' birthday parties (which can be anywhere from $150-$250 each). I vowed a few years ago that I would never let that happen again.

Well, her birthday is Friday, the 18th (oops - her being Isabel, my daughter). And I have no money budgeted for it - especially since I do owe a little to the IRS. I told my mom, we would have them over for dinner and a cake.

She grew silent.

Dunt dunt dunnnnn.

She asked if we could revisit my decision. That the rest of the family would love to see Isa on her 9th birthday. I told her that it wouldn't always be this way, just this year. It's budgeted within my Escrow account for next year. I told her that I was making a huge effort for her not to have to pay those things.

She said "Jaime, I am the grandma, I want to, and enjoy doing, these types of things."

So - Isa may get a party after all - but I will try and keep it small, and budget friendly (for my mom's sake - even though they are financially set).

Start as we mean to continue...

I read on someone else's blog - that they wish Payday's were closer together. And can I say? - I agree!

I am so excited about paying bills, but we do not get paid until the 11th (DH) and the 15th (me).

I want to get started on this budget thing! lol...

I was checking out some bills last night, and it seems that a few have already been paid for April - so, they will be paid ahead - which is nice.

I just spent the last several hours cleaning our office. I got our filing system and cabinet all set. I have files for everything, including to help keep track of our Escrow and Misc items.

It is so nice to purge. I have three large bags of PAPER. We never throw anything away... That's going to change. With our new plan, we are going to shred as much as possible.

So, I am stoked. It was hard work - but we got it done.

Off to pay some bills!

I spent several hours today creating our family budget. It's very pretty, and colorful!

More importantly, it seems to be doable. It took some time to figure out what to pay each pay period, based on when the bills are due. We bring home about 1350 each paycheck (I get paid on the 15th and last day of the month, DH gets paid every other week). This amount is after $50 each week gets moved into a seperate Savings Account. So, doing the math - I budgeted every last penny.

In our budget, I included all of the bills, and the following:

Food 300
Costco 180
Emergency Fund 50
Household 40
Allowance 100 (50 for him and 50 for me)
Escrow (the once a year bills) 135
Daycare 300
Gas 400 (we live 30 miles from work)
Collections 100 (to help pay down)
Cards 100 (extra, to help pay down)

So, with all of those bases covered, I felt like we could use up all of the money. If DH gets OT, then that extra pay for that period will be put towards a Credit Card.

DH and I just got done going over our plans - making sure we were on the same page. As I mentioned early, I gave up my Cards and my ATM for my Savings. I will not be incurring debt!

I have cancelled all of our Credit Guard stuff, our home phone (we each have a cell, including the two older kids) and am looking at other ways to save money. I know suggestions were made to cancel certain things or trade things in... but I have a family of 5 - and some of the stuff is just a bill we will have to deal with. I am truly more concerned with the uneccessary spending we do. I can spend money at Target like there's no tomorrow. We spend hundreds of dollars on eating out on certain weekends. That is what I am stopping.

I am very thankful to have found this site. You all offer the best of advice. Thank you! =)

Off to go create envelopes for our new system.

Btw... I am not crazy abt opening more bank accounts - for some of your expenses (Escrow, Gas, Food and EF) - do you just keep the cash locked up @ home?
I know that as some of them grow, I will want to open a Savings account. I work for Countrywide Bank, so we have several products I can choose from... but until then - lock it up?

Thanks!

but... my little one, who was born at 28 weeks (3lbs of tiny)... is now a walker! :-) He will be 16 months on Wednesday - and he started walking on Saturday! =) /sigh I am in love.

I just handed over my credit cards to my DH... Never to see them again! =D

Kinda exciting huh?!

P.S. Due to the length of time I have had some of them, we will pay them off - but not close them. I will beat the temptation. Cash kicks a$$. =D

I was reading on the forums, and there was a post there talking abt how most people on this site already have their act together. That left me a bit apprehensive. But we all have to start somewhere, right?

I spent all weekend coming up with a budget. One that includes an Emerg Fund, an allowance for DH and I, and even money for doctors visits. If we could make that budget work, we could at least make all of the bills.

The budget I came up with is on my other page titled "Painting the Debt Picture". Tomorrow is April 1, however, we are already going into the new month behind on one car payment, and one personal loan payment. =( Not good I know. We ate out WAY too much last month (err March). I am ashamed. I am salary, so no OT for me - but I have DH working as much as he can so hopefully we can get caught up. Thankfully it's only those two. It's a bit of change, but I am just grateful it's not 10 other bills.

We make one payment on each the car and loan, each month. So we are never more than 20 days late (this has been going on for 3 months). So, we know we can afford the payment, it's just the catching up that's hurting us. Believe me, we used to be way worse than this. I figure, worse case scenario - our rebate $$ will get us caught up and hopefully paid ahead.

So - my question is, how does one start their budget when they are A) Behind and B) Broke!? It would be easy if we had a months worth of bills set aside. But we don't.

I am very excited about a lot of the changes we are going to be making. There are so many people on this board that have provided brilliant ideas! =)

Here's the deal. Our credit history has been on a long (and sometimes scary) ride on the Roller Coaster of Debt. My husband and I got married when we were 18. I remember going to our local JC Penney, about once a week, and filling out a credit card application. I figured one day, I would get a nice person behind the Customer Service Counter, and they would give us a store card. They never did.

We went from no income and no credit, to decent income and emerging credit in about two years. This was before I knew all I know now, of course. My husband nor I knew how credit worked - how it could really work for us, or even against us. We knew nothing.

Eventually, we financed/leased a few cars, got a Roomstore credit card, and applied and received a Mervyns card. Unfortunately, we weren't smart. It's not that we couldn't afford the minimums (gosh - the Roomstore card was $45/month and the Mervyns was $15/month). Our problem was responsibility. This showed heavily on our Sears card. We were approved for a 720 CL in 1998. We maxed it out quickly... however, our payments were mostly on time. But just paying the minimums - the card was always over it's credit limit. We finally did a consolidation, and got it paid off and closed in 2003.

Every year for the past 10 years, we have said "We are going to buy a house. This year." We had to, my oldest was getting older. I wanted to ensure that he was able to stay in one school district. Sadly, this was not the case. We have moved so many times. Either the house was being sold, or the rent was raised. My son has switched schools 5 times. And he is only in the 6th grade. Alex is going to start Jr High this August - and we are still in a rental, in a neighborhood we don't necessarily want to set roots down in.

Because my husband and I didn't take responsibility early on, my son will probably change schools again in May 2009. He hates switching schools, but he always says "It's okay mom!" But is it?

After seeing my son struggle with grades, and friends - I have taken a really good look at our life. We are not where we want to be. Sure, we have a 50" Plasma flat screen. And I drive a 2007 Honda Odyssey. And yep, our kids want for nothing. But I have yet to give my children a home.

The truth of the matter is - 1) we have not made the best choices and 2) I am afraid. I am afraid to scrimp and save. To organize and communicate. I am afraid that, after all of the hard work, something will come up (as it always does).

We have medical bills (my youngest was born 3 months premature). However, I was too ashamed to call and make arrangements with the hospital. So I ignored the bills - and now they are on my credit report. Even though, every few years, I clean up my credit - we are in a vicious cycle. When will the cycle end? When will I want a home, bad enough?

I don't like talking about finances in front of my kids - but they are pretty smart. My 12 year old has taught me that we need to make some huge changes in regards to money. While he always tell us that another move will be okay - what am I teaching him, or my daughter?

I bring all of this up, because I just had to sign a permission slip for his JR High Orientation. But since our lease is up in August - I have no idea if we will be here or not. =(

I think, as of this weekend- I am more scared about what I am doing to my kids, than of not seeing instant results. As of this weekend, my family has a plan. Everyone will be involved. Hopefully we can start over, and perhaps teach the kids a thing or two about money and saving. They've certainly taught me a few things.