but... my little one, who was born at 28 weeks (3lbs of tiny)... is now a walker! :-) He will be 16 months on Wednesday - and he started walking on Saturday! =) /sigh I am in love.

I just handed over my credit cards to my DH... Never to see them again! =D

Kinda exciting huh?!

P.S. Due to the length of time I have had some of them, we will pay them off - but not close them. I will beat the temptation. Cash kicks a$$. =D

I was reading on the forums, and there was a post there talking abt how most people on this site already have their act together. That left me a bit apprehensive. But we all have to start somewhere, right?

I spent all weekend coming up with a budget. One that includes an Emerg Fund, an allowance for DH and I, and even money for doctors visits. If we could make that budget work, we could at least make all of the bills.

The budget I came up with is on my other page titled "Painting the Debt Picture". Tomorrow is April 1, however, we are already going into the new month behind on one car payment, and one personal loan payment. =( Not good I know. We ate out WAY too much last month (err March). I am ashamed. I am salary, so no OT for me - but I have DH working as much as he can so hopefully we can get caught up. Thankfully it's only those two. It's a bit of change, but I am just grateful it's not 10 other bills.

We make one payment on each the car and loan, each month. So we are never more than 20 days late (this has been going on for 3 months). So, we know we can afford the payment, it's just the catching up that's hurting us. Believe me, we used to be way worse than this. I figure, worse case scenario - our rebate $$ will get us caught up and hopefully paid ahead.

So - my question is, how does one start their budget when they are A) Behind and B) Broke!? It would be easy if we had a months worth of bills set aside. But we don't.

I am very excited about a lot of the changes we are going to be making. There are so many people on this board that have provided brilliant ideas! =)

Here's the deal. Our credit history has been on a long (and sometimes scary) ride on the Roller Coaster of Debt. My husband and I got married when we were 18. I remember going to our local JC Penney, about once a week, and filling out a credit card application. I figured one day, I would get a nice person behind the Customer Service Counter, and they would give us a store card. They never did.

We went from no income and no credit, to decent income and emerging credit in about two years. This was before I knew all I know now, of course. My husband nor I knew how credit worked - how it could really work for us, or even against us. We knew nothing.

Eventually, we financed/leased a few cars, got a Roomstore credit card, and applied and received a Mervyns card. Unfortunately, we weren't smart. It's not that we couldn't afford the minimums (gosh - the Roomstore card was $45/month and the Mervyns was $15/month). Our problem was responsibility. This showed heavily on our Sears card. We were approved for a 720 CL in 1998. We maxed it out quickly... however, our payments were mostly on time. But just paying the minimums - the card was always over it's credit limit. We finally did a consolidation, and got it paid off and closed in 2003.

Every year for the past 10 years, we have said "We are going to buy a house. This year." We had to, my oldest was getting older. I wanted to ensure that he was able to stay in one school district. Sadly, this was not the case. We have moved so many times. Either the house was being sold, or the rent was raised. My son has switched schools 5 times. And he is only in the 6th grade. Alex is going to start Jr High this August - and we are still in a rental, in a neighborhood we don't necessarily want to set roots down in.

Because my husband and I didn't take responsibility early on, my son will probably change schools again in May 2009. He hates switching schools, but he always says "It's okay mom!" But is it?

After seeing my son struggle with grades, and friends - I have taken a really good look at our life. We are not where we want to be. Sure, we have a 50" Plasma flat screen. And I drive a 2007 Honda Odyssey. And yep, our kids want for nothing. But I have yet to give my children a home.

The truth of the matter is - 1) we have not made the best choices and 2) I am afraid. I am afraid to scrimp and save. To organize and communicate. I am afraid that, after all of the hard work, something will come up (as it always does).

We have medical bills (my youngest was born 3 months premature). However, I was too ashamed to call and make arrangements with the hospital. So I ignored the bills - and now they are on my credit report. Even though, every few years, I clean up my credit - we are in a vicious cycle. When will the cycle end? When will I want a home, bad enough?

I don't like talking about finances in front of my kids - but they are pretty smart. My 12 year old has taught me that we need to make some huge changes in regards to money. While he always tell us that another move will be okay - what am I teaching him, or my daughter?

I bring all of this up, because I just had to sign a permission slip for his JR High Orientation. But since our lease is up in August - I have no idea if we will be here or not. =(

I think, as of this weekend- I am more scared about what I am doing to my kids, than of not seeing instant results. As of this weekend, my family has a plan. Everyone will be involved. Hopefully we can start over, and perhaps teach the kids a thing or two about money and saving. They've certainly taught me a few things.

My husband and I had a long talk last night... and after spending some time on the boards today - I realized that homeownership and financial responsibility are goals we HAVE to set. So today marks day one. I have already read some great ideas... now I just need to sit down with DH and get organized.